#i want customer service experience because i think all people should have it
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just applied to be a gas station attendant, rlly living the teenage dream 😍
#im actually excited#i want customer service experience because i think all people should have it#and i need people to talk to me !!!!#i havent made friendly small talk in MONTHS i need to make friendly small talk#ramble
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Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only person who has a grasp on reality, or if it’s actually that I’m the only person who doesn’t have a grasp on reality
#tell me why i just complained to my friend about my ongoing lack of job situation (to sort of give context to why i’m Having A Bad Time#Right Now. as if quitting web dev; grieving for mabel & general seasonal depression wasn’t enough reasons)#and she was like ‘why don’t we go round some cafés in [redacted] and hand out your cv and see if they’d want you to come in for a couple#of hours’ i was like ‘because that is completely insane. that’s why’#like i’m just going to go ahead and break down everything that’s wrong with that idea. first of all: most of the cafés in my hometown#are CLOSED right now. i live in basically a large tourist resort and as soon as ‘the season’ ends (traditionally halloween)#pretty much every business owner in town packs up and fucking bails until march. they go to spain or portugal or tenerife#the ones that stay open are on a skeleton crew and are trying to cut costs. they DO NOT WANT ME TO WORK FOR THEM for ‘a couple of hours’#if they wanted people they would advertise. also. if they Did want someone; it wouldn’t be me. 27 years old meaning they have to pay me the#highest minimum wage. they’re not actually allowed to discriminate based on age but they do. pretty much every business in this town hires#people at 13-14 and fires them at 16. they do not want me!! they’d have to pay me too much#second; i am unpersonable. i am unlikeable. i am cold. i have rbf like you wouldn’t believe#if i walk into a café unsolicited and ask for a job they are GOING to take it as a bomb threat#it’s not happening. it’s not happening! like yeah; if i actually see a help wanted sign i will enquire. but walking in unsolicited#and being like ‘hey i have a year of customer service experience bartending and baristaing; do you need people?’ no. no. NO#like i don’t think she comprehends it and i know exactly why. it’s because she’s sooooo pretty and sooooo nice#and the world bends over backwards for her. you know how she got her second job? (she has 2 jobs atm) a woman walked into her workplace;#talked to her for like 2 seconds and was like ‘hey how would you like to work with disadvantaged kids and introduce them to nature’#like excuse me????? i’ll take ‘shit that would never in a million years happen to me’ for £500#you know what people think when they meet me? they think ‘wow. am i in danger? should i call the police?’#the answer is no. the answer is that when i’m scared (as i am in social situations) i come off as scary. so.#like my only option is to apply online so that my cv can speak for itself! if she doesn’t realise that she does not know me#this is the thing as well because she’s fucking seen me meet people. she knows how i am. and YET#i can’t get my head around how she came up with this idea bro. yeah let’s take a fucking cryptid door to door and try to get it a job#fucking lunatic behaviour#personal
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I should really be ashamed to complain about this but since there's nothing left of this world anyway (TL;DR everything is so remarkably shitty now down to the smallest little annoying details, exponentially shittier than it was five and then ten years ago, and it's fucking crazy-making):
For work, I need to watch a movie that I know is on Prime. I go into Prime and look up the one-word title. It gives me a short list of "top results", not including my movie. Under "top results" is a slew of other lists of movies, broken down by varying made-up subgenres; at a glance, none of the titles even contain the word I searched for, and none of them have anything to do with what I specifically want. I close the Prime app and open Plex, whose search function immediately tells me that the exact the movie is in Prime, and links me to it. By clicking the link in Plex, I am able to watch the movie on Prime.
I don't know what Prime is thinking. There seems to be an assumption that when I look for one exact thing that I know I want, that that's not really what I'm doing -- I'm actually secretly saying "Uh, I dunno, just like, pitch me something, find something to sell me on, I don't really care." How the fuck is that better business? Because Prime refused to serve me something that I explicitly asked for, in favor of pushing a whole bunch of shit I don't want but that it assumes is more popular with other people, I almost didn't use their service at all. There was no world in which I was going to give up on my actual requirement and just allow myself to be forced into some other unrelated, unwanted waste of time. And this is not because I'm such a frugal and conscientious consumer, I'm not really that smart even, but I wanted A SPECIFIC THING and if I didn't get it, then that would be the end. Why is there no way for me to get the FULL MATCHING RESULTS, why is there only "top results" and then a bunch of shit I didn't ask for? When did the search function just become like a random, vaguely-related recommendations engine? How is this supposed to help Prime get my business? I mean really, I didn't enjoy this experience, but how does this strategy even serve their own corporate greed?
YouTube does a similar thing to me where it will notify me about a new video from one of my subscriptions, and if I click on that, the app opens with the video playing in a little tiny reduced window shoved to the side of all these browsing options. Like as soon as I say "yes, I want X," YouTube instantly doesn't care; it only wants me to keep shopping around for other stuff that I have not said "yes" to already. It's like a bad boyfriend who isn't interested in what you actually consent to, he's only interested in what he can bully you into, that you would have otherwise avoided.
(I guess the physical-world equivalent would be the type of consumer who is in a permanent, almost subconscious retail therapy spiral, where they do way more browsing and buying than they do using and enjoying. The person's home is full of unopened packages and they probably wind up re-buying a lot of stuff because they don't even know what they own. This is probably every company's ideal customer now, and maybe this is why if I order an item from an online store, that store will email me every single day to try to make me buy the same exact item again, as if the thing I want is only the pleasure of buying, rather than owning and using the item.)
It drives me crazy when I see these arguments online about how you're a stupid idiot if you think that the internet is shittier and more intensively commercialized than it used to be. I think it's often that the cohort of people who are really techy and net-savvy overlap with people who are a little conservative in that way where they are instantly enraged if they hear some soft-hearted rube complaining about the dominant system. If this type of person sees a post by some glum little liberal about how the internet used to be more fun and easier to use, they will immediately shit right on top of that guy's head just to be spiteful, often using a small armory of data to gaslight the plaintiff into thinking that their problems are imaginary. It's the same as that thing that happened recently where a bunch of mean-spirited libertarian-flavored blogs started making all these posts explaining that the American economy is doing awesome and anyone who thinks that inflation is happening is a stupid piece of shit. Which was like, OK fine, all those graphs and numbers you got from right-wing think tanks look great; I take it back, there's no inflation or whatever, but now you have to give me a different word to use to describe why I can't afford anything anymore and everyone I know is in a constant, desperate search for a place to live where they won't starve.
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SR Ortho Shroud - New Year's Gear Voice Lines
New Year's Attire Ortho does not have a vignette.
Summon Line: Happy New Year! How about we set up some plans together to make this an awesome year? Stuff like club activities, studies, and fun experiences!
Groooovy!!: I've determined the proper entry angle and release point for the KOMA. Power output adjustment complete. Come on, let's have a fair match!
Home: Initiating customer service mode!
Home Idle 1: I hear that the sound of frost crunching under your feet is a good stress reliever. Maybe I should use my walking function once in a while.
Home Idle 2: My brother gets really busy around this time of year. That's because all of the games he plays all have their New Year's events ongoing.
Home Idle 3: How in the world can he remember the face of every single person who enters the store...? Rook-san isn't a humanoid, right?
Home Idle - Login: A new year means a fresh start! In the past that was a pretty foreign concept for me, but I think I understand it a bit better now.
Home Idle - Groovy: Both my dorm and back home we use magic and robots to regularly clean everything efficiently. I've never had the chance to really have a proper cleaning session, myself.
Home Tap 1: What do you think about this new gear I received for this job? All the customers like how the design is inspired from a more Eastern attire!
Home Tap 2: I wonder why Trey-san always wants to work in the back? Even though he looks so good in his outfit!
Home Tap 3: Looks like Jade-san is giving his recommendations to all the customers on what they should buy. Sounds like some people are scared that he knows their interests, for some reason.
Home Tap 4: Have you finished your holiday homework? If not, you should come pay our dorm a visit. We have these special booths that can be used to help you concentrate on your studies.
Home Tap 5: You don't know how to use the item you bought from the shop? You can leave it to me. I've installed all the necessary user manuals installed.
Home Tap - Groovy: Stoooop! Before you touch me, you should use this static electricity removal sheet. That way, neither one of us suffers a shock, see?
Requested by Anonymous.
#twisted wonderland#twst#ortho shroud#twst ortho#twst translation#twst new years#mention: idia#mention: rook#mention: trey#mention: jade
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Sakuya Sakuma | [SSR] Mankai Crepe | A Crepe Bouquet
Citron: Good afternoon, Madam! You seem in a good blued today~!
Fukatsu: Ooh, I think you’re trying to say, “in a good mood”! You’re still as funny as ever Cito-chan.
Citron: Thank you!
Citron: By the way, Madam. What was it you wanted to talk to me about?
Fukatsu: Ah, right, right, I have an acquaintance who runs a crepe cart. They usually hire students to work, but…
Fukatsu: They’re having staffing issues because all those kids are going to be unavailable because of exams.
Citron: Oh, that sounds like a problem!
Fukatsu: That’s why they’re looking for people to help fill in for the time being.
Fukatsu: Hey, Cito-chan, do you know anyone who could help? You must have lots of friends and acquaintances, right?
Fukatsu: You’ll be paid for it, of course, and there’s a training period, so there’s no need to worry if you don’t have experience.
Citron: If you are the one asking me to do it, I must accept, Madam! I will talk to everyone at the dorms about it first.
Fukatsu: Thank you so much! By the way, the shop name is--.
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Sakuya: Ah, Citron-san!
Citron: Oh, Sakuya! I thought you were working until this evening.
Sakuya: It was pretty calm around the shop, so we closed up at lunch. That’s been happening a lot lately.
Sakuya: Where have you been, Citron-san?
Citron: Having tea with one of the madams I know! She was asking for some help.
Sakuya: Oh, really? I hope she can get that help soon…
Citron: I need to talk to everyone else about helping! I want to talk to you and the others when we get back.
Sakuya: Got it!
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Kazunari: Mh~, this pear crepe is supes tasty and good! The line in front of the cart was like, crazy long, but it was totes worth it~!
Banri: I usually just get stuff from the regular cafe, but this sweet potato chai latte is real good and spiced too.
Izumi: Wow, they all sound so good. I’ll have to go sometime.
Sakuya: We’re home.
Citron: We are home!
Izumi: Welcome back.
Sakuya: Waah, those crepes look really good!
Kazunari: They are! I swung by a crepe shop on my way home from uni and got ‘em~.
Kazunari: There was this super cute, inste-able cart and they all looked supes good! There was major hype around that place!
Sakuya: Now I kinda wanna go there too…!
Kazunari: BTDubs, the shop’s name is “Epoch de Crepe”--.
Citron: Aha! That is exactly the shop!
Izumi: Huh?
Banri: What is it?
Citron: I need to talk to you about that crepe shop!
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Kazunari: I getcha~, so that’s why there was a poster on the side of the cart looking for part-time workers.
Izumi: From what I’ve heard, that place is pretty popular, so being short-staffed is a big problem. I’d love to help out myself, but… could you guys do it?
Citron: It was one of the madams’ requests, so of course I will!
Citron: But I heard that they need around three people to help, so I am not enough.
Sakuya: Well then, let me help too!
Sakuya: My part-time jobs haven’t been very busy lately, so I think I should be able to do it.
Citron: Thank you, Sakuya. That will be much help!
Banri: That said, can you guys really help out at a crepe shop?
Citron: You can count on us! I will be able to handle anyone in line!
Sakuya: I do customer service and cashiering at some of my regular part-time jobs, and I’m sure I'll be able to adjust my shifts, so I’ll be fine.
Banri: Nah, it ain’t just about the customer service part…
Citron: Anyway, two is not enough. So I must find someone else!
Kazunari: Ah, wait a sec, RonRon!
Kazunari: I think Setzer said earlier that he’s relatively free right now. So maybe he could help out…!?
Citron: It would be berry helpful if you came, Banri! I would like it if you joined us!
Banri: Well, whatever. You ain’t gotta worry anymore.
Izumi: Well then, I guess we’ve got our three!
Banri: Yep.
Sakuya: I’ll do my best!
Citron: Now that it is decided, let us do our best to bring in even more customers than the usual workers~!
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Citron: Hello! We are the people Fukatsu-san sent to help.
Sakuya: We’ll do our best!
Banri: What he said.
Shop Owner: I’ve been waiting on this, so I’m really thankful for the help! Let me start by explaining the schedule.
Shop Owner: I don’t think you’ll be able to make the crepes right away, so you’ll just be in a training period for a while--.
Citron: Eh?
Sakuya: Make?
Banri: Ugh… I told you we wouldn’t be able to do this.
· ❀ —– ٠ ❀ ٠ —– ❀ ·
Sakuya: …Alright, so, there’s a training period, but I wanna get good at baking the crepe batter as soon as possible.
Sakuya: So, that’s why I wanted to ask for your help with making the crepes, Omi-san. And also why I wanted your help with tasting them, Juza-kun…
Omi: I see. Well, how about we make them together then?
Juza: I’ll help as much as ya want if ya want me to.
Izumi: I can also help out!
Sakuya: Thank you so much, guys!
Sakuya: Anyway, I got this utensil for spreading the batter. They call it a rake.
Izumi: Wah, how professional!
Omi: Nice preparation. Well then, let me borrow that from you for a bit, Sakuya.
Sakuya: Yeah, of course!
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Omi: Hmm… it’s not quite up to the quality of something you’d sell, but how’s this for now?
Sakuya: It’s amazing! I never knew you could make something like that in such a short amount of time…!
Izumi: The thickness of the pastry is even and it’s at the level of something you’d find in a shop!
Omi: Haha, thanks. Now, finish this one off with some fruit and cream…
Omi: And, done. Here, try a bit of it.
Sakuya: Lemme try!
Juza: ! ‘S’incredible.
Izumi: It’s so fluffy and delicious!
Sakuya: It’s really tasty and it’s got a good balance of pastry and filling…!
Omi: Well then, you ready to try, Sakuya?
Sakuya: Sure! I’ll try my best to get the same outcome as you did!
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Sakuya: Whoa, it was too thin and I ripped it! And the other one was a little too thick… uuueh.
Omi: Seems like the rake is a little tricky to handle.
Juza: The thick ones are good ‘cause they’ve got more to ‘em, and the thin ones are good ‘cause they’ve got more fillin’.
Juza: But if you’re gonna sell ‘em, guess they’ve gotta have a consistent thickness.
Sakuya: Yeah…
Izumi: How about we look up some tips online? Maybe we’ll find a method that works well for you, Sakuya-kun.
Sakuya: Ah, no, I’m gonna call it here for today!
Omi: Already?
Juza: We can still help ya, y’know.
Sakuya: Thanks, but you guys have already done enough! I’m gonna go out and look for some crepe shops in town and study from pros.
Sakuya: I’d be glad to get your help again next time I practice!
Izumi: (Sakuya-kun’s enthusiasm is so admirable…!)
Izumi: Got it, good luck with your search. See you later!
Sakuya: See you!
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Sakuya: Ah, seems like there’s another food truck crepe shop just like “Epoch de Crepe”…!
Sakuya: (It’s amazing how fast their hands are working. And the batter isn’t sticking to the rake at all.)
Shop Worker: Welcome, sir, would you like to order something? If so, the menu can be read there…
Sakuya: Ah, sorry for staring! Actually, I was just…
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Shop Worker: I see. So you want to see the making process?
Sakuya: Yeah, I was really impressed by how you were handling the rake. Sorry…
Shop Worker: No, I appreciate the compliment. I can give you a few tips if you’d like.
Sakuya: Eh, are you sure?
Shop Worker: We’re in a low-traffic time right now. Actually, I also struggled with this at first.
Sakuya: Really…!? Thank you so much, I’ll do my best to learn.
Shop Worker: No problem. Alright, first, for using the rake…
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Shop Worker: …And make a point like this.
Sakuya: That was so helpful! I’ll definitely practice this again by myself. Thank you so much!
Shop Worker: It’s nothing. Good luck with making delicious crepes.
Sakuya: Thanks!
Shop Worker A: Thank you for waiting. Here you go.
Kid: Wah! This crepe looks like a really pretty flower!
Mother: Fufu, it does.
Sakuya: …
· ❀ —– ٠ ❀ ٠ —– ❀ ·
Sakuya: …What do you think?
Omi: It’s very nicely baked.
Izumi: The pastry’s thickness is even all over!
Juza: Tastes just like somethin’ you’d get at a shop.
Sakuya: I’m glad…! The tips I got from that shop worker were really worth it!
Omi: I’m glad you found a technique that works for you, Sakuya.
Sakuya: Me too! But I still need to work even harder to make ones that are even more delicious!
Omi: Haha, make sure you don’t overdo it.
Juza: We’re supportin’ ya.
Izumi: And good luck with doing the real thing, too!
Sakuya: Thank you!
Izumi: (Sakuya-kun seems like he’s got some confidence now. I’m glad he got so good at making them.)
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Shop Owner: You’ve gotten so good that I don’t really have anything to say in terms of things to practice! It’s time for the real thing today, so let’s keep up the good work.
Sakuya: Yeah, let’s!
Customer A: Hello. Are you taking orders?
Sakuya: Yes, go ahead!
Customer A: Umm, then I’ll get a pear-apple mix and…
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Customer B: It’s so good~!
Customer C: The thickness of the pastry is perfect!
Sakuya: (I’m really glad the people who are eating the crepes I made are saying they’re delicious.)
Izumi: Are you taking orders, sir?
Sakuya: Yeah, of course!
Sakuya: …Huh, Director!? And Masumi-kun!
Izumi: Hehe. We came here to get something to eat as soon as we could.
Sakuya: Welcome!
Masumi: …Why’s Sakuya here?
Izumi: Huh!? I thought I told you we were coming here to eat because Sakuya’s working here part-time!?
Masumi: I only listened to the part about going on a crepe date with you.
Sakuya: Ahaha…
Izumi: Alright, which one do you want to get, Masumi-kun? I’m getting this one with fresh strawberries and whipped cream.
Masumi: I’ll have the same then.
Sakuya: Coming right up! I’ll get started on your order as soon as possible.
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Sakuya: Thanks for waiting. Your fresh strawberry and whipped cream crepe!
Izumi: Waah, it looks so good! …Wait, huh?
Izumi: The ingredients are the same, but is the shape of the toppings different from the sample…?
Sakuya: So you noticed? I tried arranging the strawberries to look like a flower.
Sakuya: When I was at the shop where I was given some tips, I saw a little girl who was super happy because her crepe looked cute like a flower--.
Sakuya: And since you came all the way here, I thought I’d arrange your crepe to look like a bouquet, Director!
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Choose!
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Option 1: It’s pretty.
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Izumi: It’s so pretty! Almost like a real bouquet.
Izumi: I’d better take a lot of pictures of it before I eat it. …Fufu, the pictures are so cute, I’m sure I’ll be looking at them again soon.
Sakuya: I’m glad I could make you smile with the crepe I made. I mean, you’re always lovely, but you look really, really cute right now, Director!
Sakuya: Ah…! Sorry, I didn’t mean to say you were cute!
Izumi: Ahaha, it’s a little embarrassing since I’m not used to being told that. But, I’m glad.
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Option 2: It’s well-made.
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Izumi: It’s really well-made. It almost seems like a shame to eat it.
Sakuya: The recipe wouldn’t be the same as the one from this shop, but if you ever want to eat one, I can always make something similar for you at the dorms, Director!
Izumi: Ahaha, really? Well then, I’ll eat this one freely.
Sakuya: …How is it?
Izumi: It’s really good! It has a gentle flavor.
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Sakuya: Really? I’m glad then!
Masumi: …You’re talking to her too much.
Sakuya: Ah, s-sorry. I’ll go make one for you too, Masumi-kun!
Izumi: Ah, right! Do you want yours to be like a bouquet too, Masumi-kun? It’d be really cute and it’d match with mine!
Masumi: Matching with you… Sakuya, make me the same.
Sakuya: Hehe, coming right up!
#a3!#a3! translation#sakuya sakuma#citron#banri settsu#omi fushimi#juza hyodo#masumi usui#// so i only just realized yesterday that i never actually finished tl’ing this#i’ve deduced that it’s because i got into aitsf while tl’ing this causing my brain to be taken over by kaname date entirely#i apologize to both you guys and to sakuya for that
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My sperm donor, literally the first chance he gets to see me as soon as he's back: So what's the update on the job hunting? Me:
Me: I am fine and normal
Also me: not getting hired anywhere despite having a degree and I turn 26 next year so I need insurance
Also also me: wildly depressed due to said lack of job hunting success and abusive father's lack of understanding
Also also also me: still stuck living in abusive parent's house, again, due to said lack of full time work
Also also also also me: constantly drowning in tasks beyond work and no longer know how to relax
Also also also also ALSO me: just dodged getting COVID from my mother two weeks ago by fleeing her house, but now my older brother has COVID and there's nowhere for me to go
Also also also also also ALSO ME: All plans to treat myself since abusive father isn't in the country are canceled due to brother's COVID and my potential exposure
ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ME: STAYED UP FOR TWO HOURS PAST MIDNIGHT TROUBLESHOOTING WIFI BECAUSE THE ISP SAID THERE WERE NO OUTAGES AND I NEED WIFI TO WORK FROM HOME, ONLY FOR THE ISP TO ANNOUNCE AN OUTAGE ONLY AFTER I CALL MY ABUSIVE PARENT ON VACATION
Me: I AM FINE AND NORMAL I AM FINE AND NORMAL
#if i make it to the end of the year i'll be amazed and maybe even slightly disappointed#dylawa rambles#dylawa rants#delete later#an outsider might see this interaction and think “gee why is asking for updates so bad”#I'd like to preface my points by saying I HAVE a job. It's part time with no benefits but I AM working#I'm not being 'dead weight' (which is a cruel term but whatever)#nevermind he takes half my monthly income for rent even though he SO does not need it#first of all he only ever bugs me about job hunting after asking me out to lunch so now i don't ever want to go anywhere to eat with him#or even worse right before i start work or during so i'm biting back tears for like an hour while making phone calls and leaving messages#it doesn't feel 'nice' it feels like a trap#it's NEVER any other time it's always those two-- either extremely inconvenient or leaving me with nowhere to run#second he thinks that i should just be trying to get an 'entry level' job in my career (animation/graphic design/film)#and when i tried to explain I am and they want 2 years professional experience he talked over me#nevermind the mass layoffs and the fact companies only want people who have already been employed somewhere in the industry anyway#can't get a job because i haven't had an internship; can't get an internship because i'm not in college anymore#I still don't regret keeping the same job throughout nearly the entirety of university but that's WHY i never got an internship#third this man has basically run his own (shitty) company his entire life and doesn't understand the modern struggle of job hunting#he SAID he 'doesn't blame me' for not having anything and I'm 'always welcome here' but I don't believe that for a second#why the fuck else would he be so persistent as to bug me every week or other week#Trust me bitch I want to leave probably more than YOU want me to leave#despite my savings going anywhere without full time work that barely covers half rent with a roommate is stupid#I have gotten THREE interviews in six months (eight or nine if you count the applications I was sending in college)#the next one is tomorrow and it isn't even in fucking animation or even graphic design it's in ACCOUNTING#talking to me about it isn't going to change anything it just makes me feel like a failing piece of shit#but hey fuck me for getting upset right? he's 'just asking' he's 'just trying to help'#so unbelievably out of touch and narcissistic while hiding behind the guise of 'care'#if i'm gone by the end of the year the letter will be all about YOU and how i could never be honest with you#how living with you was basically 24/7 customer service faking a smile and friendliness#and how I loathed you more than anyone or anything on the planet for YEARS before I finally checked out
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"If low-wage workers do not always behave in an economically rational way, that is, as free agents within a capitalist democracy, it is because they dwell in a place that is neither free nor in any way democratic. When you enter the low-wage workplace – and many of the medium-wage workplaces as well – you check your civil liberties at the door, leave America and all it supposedly stands for behind, and learn to zip your lips for the duration of the shift. The consequences of this routine surrender go beyond the issues of wages and poverty. We can hardly pride ourselves on being the world's preeminent democracy, after all, if large numbers of citizens spend half their waking hours in what amounts, in plain terms, to a dictatorship. . . My guess is that the indignities imposed on so many low-wage workers – the drug tests, the constant surveillance, being 'reamed out' by managers – are part of what keeps wages low. If you're made to feel unworthy enough, you may come to think that what you're paid is what you are actually worth. It is hard to imagine any other function for workplace authoritarianism. Managers may truly believe that, without their unremitting efforts, all work would quickly grind to a halt. That is not my impression. While I encountered some cynics and plenty of people who had learned how to budget their energy, I never met an actual slacker [. . .] On the contrary, I was amazed and sometimes saddened by the pride people took in jobs that rewarded them so meagerly, either in wages or in recognition. Often, in fact, these people experienced management as an obstacle to getting the job done as it should be done. Waitresses chafed at managers' stinginess toward the customers; housecleaners resented the time constraints that sometimes made them cut corners; retail workers wanted the floor to be beautiful, not cluttered with excess stock as management required. Left to themselves, they devised systems of cooperation and work sharing; when there was a crisis, they rose to it. In fact, it was often hard to see what the function of management was, other than to exact obeisance. There seems to be a vicious cycle at work here, making ours not just an economy but a culture of extreme inequality. [Corporate decision makers and entrepreneurs] occupy an economic position miles above that of the underpaid people whose labor they depend on. For reasons that have more to do with class – and often racial – prejudice than with actual experience, they tend to fear and distrust the category of people from which they recruit their workers. Hence the perceived need for repressive management and intrusive measures like drug and personality testing. But these things cost money – $20,000 or more a year for a manager, $100 a pop for a drug test, and so on – and the high cost of repression results in ever more pressure to hold wages down. The larger society seems to be caught up in a similar cycle: cutting public services for the poor, which are sometimes referred to collectively as the 'social wage,' while investing ever more heavily in prisons and cops. And in the larger society, too, the cost of repression becomes another factor weighing against the expansion or restoration of needed services. It is a tragic cycle, condemning us to ever deeper inequality, and in the long run, almost no one benefits but the agents of repression themselves."
-Barbara Ehrenreich, Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America
#words#finally finished this book. bleak how it was published in 2001 and everything is worse now lmao
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I was told I should come here to tell you about a recent experience I’ve had. Something about how you’re looking for scary stories or whatever. Sure, I’ll tell you, but it’s not like it’s going to help or anything. I don’t think anyone can help me, really.
It happened last night at time of writing, so Monday night. I work as a pool cleaner (pool technician is what they call it, can’t help but roll my eyes every time I have to say it) and with the summer months rolling in, work’s been busier than usual. Everyone wants their pool chlorinated and clean, everyone wants their pool tiling redone, everyone’s looking for a special rate, etc. So many uppity folks believing they’re more important and their water should be cleaned first instead of finding another way to stay cool. Bit annoying if you ask me, but it’s a job, and I couldn’t care less what these people blow their money on
Boss sent me out to some address out in the boonies and I assumed it’d be the same ordeal as always. I show up, vacuum out all the gunk, scrub up a bit, explain basic maintenance to the customer, yadayadayada. Even being out in the middle of nowhere, you don’t really assume anything. Outside of clearly these people are loaded if they live out of the way AND they’re calling about a pool cleaning. The drive there took about half the day because they were very insistent on someone coming out that same day, and I was content with the idea of an easy day for once.
I was wrong.
Everything seemed okay upon arrival. Quaint little house a couple miles out from the nearest town, beautiful property if I’m honest. The grounds surrounding the cottage seemed to be cluttered in a bunch of water fountains and irrigation systems for a small garden the owners were tending to. All of the water sources seemed to snake back in onto themselves, seemingly entangled and intertwined, it was all rather impressive. Whoever owned this land was probably more savvy than I was about the basics of plumbing. Made me wonder for a second why they’d needed a pool cleaner, but I had a job to focus on and not much time to think about it for longer than a passing moment.
When I knocked on the door of the residence, I was met with the most breathtaking view of a gorgeous woman who’d answered the door. A real looker, made me almost envy the person who got to be with her, I’d never been charming enough to end up with someone like that. I couldn’t tell you what she looked like now, or what she sounded like, or all of what she said, but I remember her eyes. I remember that while the rest of her seemed inviting and warm, those eyes remained cold and dark, almost analytical. Scanning for something that I couldn’t quite be sure of.
She’d told me that her husband had just left for work but that the pool was in the back. She handed me the check for services, and initially I was taken aback since normally payment comes after, but it was one less thing for me to worry about. She told me I could get started and that she’d be outside after she’d changed. Wasn’t really sure what that meant at the time, but I wasn’t going to decline seeing more of her, and with a nod I started to head to the back area of the cottage where the pool was.
By far it must have been the filthiest pool I’ve ever laid eyes on. Overgrown moss, all manner of disgusting, vile muck, as if the pool itself hadn’t been cared for in years. I swore I’d seen the carcass of a less than lucky squirrel at one point, but tried not to think about it all. Popped my headphones in and started the process of vacuuming the mess out of there, and I was thankful for the drone of noise that made it impossible to think for too long. It wasn’t until I felt a tap on my shoulder that I stopped, and what I saw when I turned around wasn’t what I expected.
The wife had joined me in the backyard in what had to be one of the skimpiest swimsuits in existence. Strings that screamed at the tension they were put under, and while I tried not to look, I couldn’t help myself. If she noticed, she didn’t seem to make any mention of it, but the next words out of her mouth could have made me keel over from excitement if that were possible.
“Would you help me with some sunscreen?”
We ended up heading over to a lawn chair she’d setup and I enjoyed the feeling of her warm flesh beneath mine as I rubbed the ointment into her skin. I don’t think I would have in retrospect, but in that moment it felt like that was the only thing that mattered in the world. I remember the way she looked at me with those eyes, and how I could see myself reflected in her gaze; I remember how sure of myself she made me seem, and how good it felt to escape my own self-doubts for once. How it wasn’t so bad to be a pool technician after all if it meant I’d get to experience the joy of beautiful women like this more. How I’d be able to tell my mother to kick rocks for thinking I’d never amount to anything.
At some point, she’d requested that I undo the straps tied on her back so she could get an even tan before she could get in the pool. My stomach lurched, but I agreed, and after undoing the straps, she instructed me to go finish up while she enjoyed the view. With a newfound surge of confidence, I set to work, scrubbing away all of the disgusting bits of dirt and grime in a jiffy. Even added some extra cleaning chemicals besides the chlorine so she wouldn’t have to trouble herself with worrying about not being able to take a dip in the pool. If I had known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have been anywhere near as excited. Funny how your thoughts circle when you have time to reflect on things.
My job completed, I announced that the pool was once again open for swimming, and earned a delighted giggle in return. Something that sounded so ephemeral, as though it were not of this world, but I wished to hear it again and again. I’d started to pack up my tools and planned on enjoying the many daydreams I’d be thinking of on the way back of this scenario I’d found myself in when a sudden movement caught my eye. When I turned to look, I found her beckoning me to come closer, a smile playing on her lips while her gaze never left mine. If everything else had been a fantasy prior, her next spoken words were the cherry on top.
“Would you like to join me?”
I watched in amazement as she removed the fabric that barely covered anything and slowly walked back into the pool, her eyes fixed on me, that same come hither motion ever present. I didn’t even need time to think. Before I knew it, I was freed from my clothes and in the water beside her, and we locked into a brief moment of passion. It all felt surreal, as if it weren’t what was happening, but good. That’s when I felt the pull on my ankle. A pull that at first seemed like something I’d neglected to fish out of the pool before announcing that the waters were safe, but one that quickly became terrifying. I felt myself get pulled under, and despite how shallow the pool was, I couldn’t climb back to the surface.
I felt dozens of what felt like hands pulling me deeper and deeper down into the depths of a pool that was much too big for what I’d just cleaned. I swore I heard whispers telling me that things would be so much better if I gave in and joined them and how life could be so much more if I relished being worth something as part of their group. Sentences that still don’t make much sense to me now but they don’t become any less terrifying. I reemerged from the surface as my vision started to darken, and scrambled out of the pool back to dry land, heaving up water as I did. As I caught my breath, I heard a voice say something that made my blood run cold.
“Look. At. Me.”
When I turned back around, I found the source of the voice coming from the pool. I was met with the creeping gaze of someone who’d submerged themselves beneath the surface, only their eyes and the top of their head visible. Whoever was in the pool, it didn’t look like the woman who’d answered the door, and they began to rise from the waters that now appeared murky once again. It was a wretched, decrepit old woman, one who appeared to have become bloated and waterlogged as though they’d been submerged for far longer than the human body can handle.
I watched in horror as she began to cackle, her skin peeling away from her body as she attempted to exit the pool and head in my direction. I was frozen in place and watched as with every shift of the water, this pool began to change, and alter. Faces reflected in the ripples of the waves she was making, faces that I swore I recognized. Her eyes had locked onto me with what I swore was the same cold, dark gaze I’d felt earlier in the day. She was halfway between me and the pool when I was able to steel myself and begin running back to the car. The last words I heard echo from her still haunt me now.
“Get back into the water. Join us. Join your friends. We’re waiting for you.”
I don’t think I stopped the car again until I heard the second alarm go off warning me about low fuel. Quit my job after, I don’t need that kind of stress in my life, there are other things I can do in the meantime. Hopefully the next gig has buxom babes who aren’t completely mental. If not, I’ll be headed to the beach soon, and maybe I’ll get lucky there. Can’t say I’ll be looking to get into the water, though.
...well, I hate to say it but I am feeling physically better than I was prior to reading this statement. Though, I was perhaps remiss in...stalling on responding to this one for so long.
It stuck out to me due to the nature of the...reflection. It tastes similar to whatever has been trying to...consume? Capture? Reflect Tim.
It is a complicated situation, and one I do not yet understand completely. Reflections are...distortions of light, if viewed from a technical standpoint. But they are also imitations, unrealities of their own...there is no shortage of folklore about mirrors and reflections - do not get trapped between them, do not make eye contact with them, do not accept the invitation to step into the looking glass...
Which is to say...I am lost on this. I've come to accept that the powers of the world are...not exactly the same as the ones that I knew of Before, but are no less present. They seem to exist in their own right, though if Michael's door is anything to go by, they are still able to be influenced or at least...visited, by the familiar fears that I Know.
What do I know about the reflections so far... -They appear to feed off of...insecurity, and self doubt. -They can change their appearance (unsurprising) -They are ephemeral in nature, and do not have a fixed Place -They can communicate directly with their victims and targets. -They appear in opposition to predation and blood. I don't know if any of this will be helpful. Martin and Michael are insistent that I stay in the car while they take care of things with Tim. Oh yes, as if that is going to happen. I have more experience than both of them, at least now. That, and the poor pool boy's misfortune was a rather reinvigorating snack. I am feeling much better. Stay in the car, my arse.
#[submitted statement]#another archive#tma#tma podcast#somewhere else#aaarg#the magnus archives#tma rp blog
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On the subject of problematic stories, fanfiction archive policies, and "(x) fans DNI"…
Here's my analysis on… well, how a visceral moral/ethical response can never fully work in tandem with the practical considerations of policy and enforcement.
Yes, there are some stories that I find irredeemable, stories so upsetting that I would genuinely not want the writers of them to ever interact with me. Mostly these are stories about truly horrible acts-- things like rape, child molesting, domestic abuse, racist hate-crimes, genocide--
--and I don't just mean any story that mentions or depicts these acts in any way, because lots of stories can talk about those concepts without making me hate the author or wish the story would disappear.
No, I'm specifically referring to stories that portray these things in a way that strongly suggests the author likes them… a lot, to the point of probably wanting to commit these acts in real life.
And yes, there are some stories that do convey that feeling quite strongly, without much room for other interpretations. I'm not gonna claim that every story has the right to a charitable interpretation. Some people do just… write to express really hateful, toxic thoughts without any redeeming quality about them.
And yes, I do think that there are certain stories that "All Reasonable People" would agree fit in that category.
Not many of them. The vast majority of stories have some room for sympathy. And even for the worst ones, reasonable people can disagree a lot on just what should be done with such stories. But I'd say that for those few, bottom-of-the-barrel worst stories, those same reasonable people would at least be in agreement that the writer is someone they would not want to ever be around, and that the stories do nothing much except spread hate and encourage hurtful ideas.
Practically speaking, though-- just how could you structure the rules and rule-enforcement of a fiction site to exclude those stories specifically?
For instance. Say I'm a site-owner writing my terms of service and trying to make it clear there's no tolerance for rape or abuse, underage sex, racism or sexism or homophobia…
Well, for one thing, there's all the technical detail of how you define every one of those things. And that's its own whole set of challenges, which have been explored in many many other essays. Do stories about sex-pollen or mating cycles count as rape? Can a coffeeshop AU romance between customer and employee ever truly be consensual, with that power dynamic where the employee knows she can get fired if a spurned customer makes a retaliatory complaint to a manager? And how clearly do you have to show characters planning out healthy boundaries to stop BDSM play from being abuse? Is it abusive to ship characters who have had fantasy or sci-fi battles with each other? In a world that has magical beings, robots and clones and space aliens of all kinds, what even counts as a race? And in that same diverse setting, is a character's age defined by number of years, mental maturity level, appearance, or some combination thereof?
It's all been analyzed into oblivion, without ever reaching an overall consensus.
But even on the topics where there is consensus-- even regarding scenarios that that are very obviously rape or abuse or racist violence or child molestation in the consensus of All Reasonable People-- even there, how would I word the policy so I'm not prohibiting critical discussion of those topics?
If I just say, for instance, "stories can't have child sex abuse or racial hate crimes in them" …
...then, I'd be making it technically against the rules to post a story in which, say, a traumatized character talks to a therapist about their childhood experience of being a victim of sexual or racial violence.
And of course I don't want to ban that kind of story! Being free to talk about traumatic experiences is vitally important. Being free to show fictional characters having that kind of talk can also be vitally important.
And, personally, the degree of detail or explicitness also isn't what I'd try and regulate. The gist of the rule I'd want to write would be something along the lines of, "I don't want any stories that show these things and glorify them, eroticize or romanticize them; that portray them in a positive way."
But this rule-- like most definitions and rules, honestly-- cannot be written in a way that inherently, explicitly forbids all the stories I want to keep out, while inherently, explicitly allowing all those I want to allow.
Language simply can't do that.
Apart from rules written in programming language for governing the activities of software, rules never work "inherently" and "explicitly," anyway. They work in conjunction with human rule-enforcers.
The closest I could get to my goal, here, would be to use something like that vaguely written rule, "No stories that glorify, eroticize or romanticize these things," and then have a team of moderators interpret it on a case-by-case basis.
A case-by-case basis is the most high-effort way to enforce anything. But for a LOT of things, it's the only way that comes close to working. Anything that can only be defined as "I know it when I see it!" …has to be regulated by people knowing it when they see it.
And yes, if all those people had the same general common sense that I consider myself to have, and enough time and freedom to exercise it-- yes, I think they would be able to weed out all the stories that "All Reasonable People" would consider so toxic as to have no redeeming value.
But two big problems here:
This would require the moderators to read every story-- or at least to read and make a decision on every story that got enough reports from users who felt it broke the rules. Unless the site was very small, this would be a huge undertaking, requiring many hours of labor from the mods.
Unless the site was very small, they would not be able to do it without also weeding out some stories that do have redeeming value.
Because they would have to draw the line somewhere.
And with a large enough population of site members, a large enough team of moderators, and a large enough volume of stories posted, they could not draw that line consistently.
There would, inevitably, be complaints from all directions-- writers of all walks of life making accusations of bias, citing specific stories that got allowed, and contrasting them to other specific stories that got taken down.
There would be bias. There would be unfairness. It's not avoidable. And no matter who you are and what your tastes in fiction may be, it would, without fail, happen to some things that you think it shouldn't happen to.
Now, depending on your tastes, you may feel this would be a fair tradeoff for a site that successfully kept out most or all of the fiction you consider the worst.
But, so far, that has not been the case with any big fanfiction site.
On every large site that bans certain types of fanfiction identified on a case-by-case basis, there is widespread dissatisfaction with how it is or isn't enforced. It just isn't possible to do that kind of enforcement, on that kind of scale, and keep any large percentage of people satisfied.
Even AO3, which has very few rules of that sort, still gets its share of complaints. It does have some rules-- no monetizing fanfiction, no plagiarism, no doxxing-- and those are, to some degree, things that have to be interpreted and identified on a case-by-case basis by individual volunteer moderators.
And even with these comparatively simple decisions, there is a limit to how much of that they can get done in a day, and how consistent they can be at it… and, therefore, a limit to how much of the userbase they can satisfy.
And if you want to understand why they won't make more rules about the content of the fiction--
--just try to imagine, for a few moments, adding all that, on top of the current enforcement tasks those volunteers already do.
Imagine the logistics of it, the details. The work of reading and categorizing everything that gets reported. The dilemma of where to draw the line in each and every case, without those decisions forming any unfair pattern of inconsistency.
It could be done, maybe.
But it hasn't been done successfully, on that scale, ever.
If you were in their position, would you want to take that risk?
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Undead Unlcuk ch.186 thoughts
[Just Like Mama Used to Make]
(Contents: thematic analysis - artistic expression)
Before I say anything else, I just want to note how hard that one bystander saying "what the fuck?" made me laugh. That killed me. With how much wild shit the Union gets up to, it's refreshing to see someone not only witness it, but actually acknowledge it. I still wonder how the audience for Feng's martial arts tournament reacted to all of the weird fights
I also want to point out that in this loop, Enjin's iconic ripped hat look is created from him being thrown through the wall of his mother's hospital room. I'm sure there was some cool story to it originally, but nope, this time he just...biffed a landing, s'all. As usual, no dignity in this series
Onto the chapter, I figured that this chapter was going to continue to expand on the idea of togetherness using food as a symbol like last week, but nope! We're movin' on! Instead of examining how the act of eating can deepen bonds, this week we're examining the difference between mass appeal and individual experience
Enjin's ramen, made with refined technique, is "objectively" good food that pretty much anyone will say is tasty, but aside from the opportunity for custom orders like "extra toppings" or "light on the X," the overall dish is always the same. Without any direct input, Enjin will always produce the same meal, with the expectation that it's so high quality that no one could possibly dislike it. This approach is not necessarily wrong, as consistency is an important factor in food service, but it does mean that if there's any one factor that any one customer doesn't like, they won't end up enjoying it because it doesn't match with their personal taste
It's kind of like if a manga starts out with one of the main leads sexually harassing the other. Sure, the manga as a whole may be great, possibly even the best among its contemporaries, but some people just aren't going to be able to get past that initial bad taste in their mouth. No matter how good the end product is, someone is going to slip through the cracks
Someone isn't going to be able to stand how hot the broth is, someone isn't going to like the mushrooms or the bamboo shoots, and someone isn't going to appreciate seeing a girl get groped by a man whose dick is flopping in the wind. This is an unavoidable truth in the creative process: there is no such thing as perfect. There will always be flaws, and there will always be detractors, but there will also always be fans willing to stand by the art and declare that it's their absolute favorite
This is where Fuuko's ramen comes in: even if only two people out of...what, fifty people(?) liked it, what matters is that the person it was meant for liked it. The point was to show Enjin that no amount of refinement would be able to capture everyone's hearts, but any amount of consideration would capture the heart of the one person it's meant to. Luckily there was another person present who fit in that same niche to drive the point home, but even without that child, I think Enjin would have gotten the point
When it comes to art, you sometimes need to ignore the instinct to try to appeal to anyone and instead focus on creating the thing that you want, the thing that will make you happy. You will run the risk of alienating basically everyone, but by being honest and forthright in how you express yourself, you'll eventually find someone who your work truly resonates with
Fuuko's touch-starved isolation, Andy's hedonistic depression, Billy's stoic responsibility, Rip's dual loves...these aren't things that everyone can relate to, even if they can sympathize. But to someone who feels isolated, who tries to fight against crushing despair with a plastered smile, who bears the weight of the world on their shoulders, or knows what it's like to love more than others say they should, these things will all ring true, and make that reader feel like someone, somewhere finally understands, like someone said all the things they wish they could if they only had the talent or the time
To me, this chapter isn't about cooking, it's about the act of creation. It's about the act of sharing your soul with the world around you and knowing that you resonated with even just one person, and knowing that that one person's world has changed for the better. It's about the act of receiving a piece of someone and being able to smile back at them, telling them that the message has been received
Maybe this won't be what anyone else sees. Maybe this chapter will come across as lukewarm to somebody, maybe even to most people. Maybe it was mediocre at best to someone and they'd prefer something with a bit more of a kick. But someone, maybe just one person, was able to really sink their teeth into this one and savor all of the ingredients, the love and the care that went into creating this piece. Someone was moved to tears, and someone looks at the world just a little differently now thanks to this chapter
Until next time, let's enjoy life
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Primal Urges
Fandom: Thomas Sanders, Sanders Sides
Pairings: hints of Prinxiety
Warnings: prospective cannabilism, temporary character death
Summary: Virgil specifically remembers dying, and yet he still lives. Now with a hankering for people meat.
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Virgil didnt crave human flesh before he died.
He craved lots of things in life: pasta, oreos, midnight reruns of Friends, mental stability. Ya know, healthy normal things.
Then again, taste buds do change every seven years. And people, canonically, do taste like beef. So what's more irrisitible than the American Dream?
Burgers. The American dream is burgers.
Big juicy burgers just begging to be ripped into with teeth. Burgers that would splatter bloody goodness. Rare burgers that would slide down his throat in a warm heady rush. Something raw to fill the emptiness within his gut that growled its demands to be sated.
Yes, normal healthy cravings.
That's why Virgil found himself sitting there downing a bottle of bourbon. He tried in vain to push away memories of his recent death experience while waiting for the intense urge of NOM NOM to subside.
"How long does this usually take?" Virgil asked, looking inside the empty bottle as if he might find more.
The bartender looked askance at the other two empty bottles sitting beside Virgil. "The alcohol poisoning you mean? Just how long have you been here?"
Virgil blinked at the handsome man before him decked out from head to toe in black. That was his kind of man. "Oh, maybe it did work. I don't remember seeing you back there."
"My shift just started," said the man, and 'Roman' said the name tag on his pristine black polo shirt. He had that face on his face like he was trying to smile, just how the relentless years of customer service taught you, but was failing completely. The farthest he got was moderately bewildered mixed with borderline awe.
"Hm, nice," Virgil said, because really there was nothing else to say. Especially when all Virgil's brain could scream at him for the moment was, Look at that arm! Bite it, rawr!
Virgil shook his head. Damn primal needs.
"Maybe I should switch to tequila," he grumbled.
"Maybe you wanna slow down," Roman advised. "You've had enough to down an elephant. Look, you've even spilt some on yourself."
Virgil looked down obligingly and couldn't help but laugh at the stain on his own shirt. "Oh that. Yeah that's not my drink, it's blood."
Roman's stance didnt change but his eyes were definitely more focused. Virgil wondered if he imagined the sound of a heartbeat speeding up.
Primal brain said, Fresh meat fears us. Fresh meat shall be tasty. *insert evil laugh here*
To clarify, Virgil raised a hand to stop the bartender from calling for help. "Don't worry, it's my blood."
Virgil did not think the clarification helped much. He should try again.
"Listen," Virgil lowered his voice a little, as much as you can in a bar and still be heard. He leaned forward a bit but the bartender most certainly did not. "I died this morning. It's been a really weird day."
"Ah," Roman nodded slowly, and at least his heartbeat slowed marginally. He even chanced a curve of the lips. "Far be it from me to question coping mechanisms. Normally I might ask if you're sure you don't need medical assistance, but you appear abnormally...fine, all things considered."
"You look pretty tasty yourself," Virgil purred and promptly slapped a hand over his mouth.
Did all of his self control die as well? Sheesh. Someone end him properly, please.
It's not like you weren't thinking it, Primal Brain supplied helpfully.
Luckily for all of Virgil's sanity, Roman took the compliment in stride. He laughed, "Well, clean clothes do go a long way."
"I meant to get changed before, I swear, I just..."
"Weird day," Roman finished for him. He nodded politely and smiled in a way that made Virgil want to eat his face off. Literally.
"You should probably go help other customers," Virgil word-vomited. "Or get me more bourbon. Or tequila. Or hell, wine if it'll do anything for me. Maybe everclear."
Roman chuckled again, "I'll make my rounds, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut you off dear. Even if you seem sober enough, the evidence suggests otherwise."
Adding insult to injury, Roman slipped him a glass of water before he left. Virgil watched the liquid settle to stillness in the clear cup and felt absolutely no desire to drink it.
We want blood. Blood! Primal Brain roared inside him.
Virgil put his head in his hands and wondered how he got into this mess.
#sanders sides#thomas sanders#virgil sanders#roman sanders#cannibalism#death#temporary character death#primal urges#writing#fanfiction#think i might write more on this#disclaimer i dont know if bartenders have nametags#i can count on one hand the amount of bars ive been too#and i never talked to the bartender
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as an autistic transmasc, have you had an issue with your voice tone being a "giveaway", especially early on with learning about your autism and unmasking? I've found for myself that my "customer service voice" or even "public" voice (aka my masking voice) is much more feminine, lighter, and friendlier than my unmasked voice, even pre-testosterone, which often leads to me getting misgendered more in my work place. This happens worse on days where I'm already anxious or having a rough mental health day, so I'm not focusing on unmasking, and so I'm automatically putting up my pre-T mask voice without thinking about it. If you have experience with this, do you have recommendations for working on this?
Growing up, I had a lot of gay male friends who would invariably get "ma'amed" on the phone. They continued being mistaken for women over the phone after we all grew up, because their voices are lighter, softer, more filled with emotional affect, and just generally more stereotypically feminine than straight men's voices are.
Familiarity with men like these got me comfortable with the idea that my voice can be high, expressive, and feminine without me being a woman, and that people misgendering based upon it isn't even a uniquely transgender experience. Lots of gay men like me have it. So I don't think about it.
If your customer service voice makes you feel dysphoric, you certainly can practice changing it. I have a "straight guy" voice that I will trot out when I'm donating blood or in certain unfamiliar customer service situations. It's low and gruff and flat, very inexpressive; my straightsona is a mopey depressed kind of guy. He gives less emotional energy away to other people. If you're working in customer service, feeling less pressure to do all that emotional labor of being bubbly at people might be desirable, maybe you want to be more gruff. There are a lot of great resources out there on voice training for trans femme people -- I like Stef Sanjati's videos -- and you can adopt the same techniques for practicing a more reflexively masculine voice if you want one, or if it sounds more like the real you to you.
But my real self is expressive and swishy and gay and gets ma'amed over the phone sometimes and doesn't give a shit! So I don't worry about how people interpret my voice. Your mileage may vary anon, but I'm of the opinion no trans person should have to worry about vocal training and that one of our most attractive qualities as queer people is our unusual voices.
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if you're ever writing something where your characters do some extreme high end dining, understand that the experience bears almost no resemblance to dining as you may know it
note that my knowledge is second hand and limited to the french culinary tradition
i think the chinese tradition is more informed by imperial court but that's all i got there
anyway french tradition fine dining is a highly curated, formalized, more performance art than anything else
diners have little input on what they'll be eating, for one
obviously inform staff of religious or allergy related restrictions as while many chefs are bastards they're usually loathe to poison their customers
and since this segment of the economy has a fuckton of oil money they're unlikely to be perceptibly racist
(they will, however, be extremely sexist if you aren't anna wintour or, like, an actual monarch)
this is not mass market so reputation actually can kill a business super quick
choice is limited to drinks and between the short or full courses
you'll get a menu but it's a declaration of what the chef wants you to know about what you'll be eating, think theater playbill or gallery catalogue
ah! that's the metaphor
it's a participatory theater performance and you are very much expected to know your role in it
the courses will be timed so food is served at the appropriate temperature, so try not to linger
for the people who eat at these kinds of places, what they're doing is hiring the services of an expert servant
some like to joke about how tyrranical their stylist is, or enjoy the chef sometimes yelling at a diner for eating wrong but it is very much a joke and super patronizing
anyone these people interact with are either peers or the help
yes, they are monstrous
personally i think a curated dining experience should be much more widely available and that there should be more room for it in socialist economies than capitalist ones because there could be more freedom for cooks to do art when they don't have to worry about keeping the doors open they way they do here in america
food doesn't have to be art but it can be and that should be encouraged
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Hey ryuichi, as an artist, how do you feel about Ai art? Do you think that Ai is going to replace artists? Do you think that Ai artists are real artists?
I'm curious to know your opinion on this matter.
Sorry for the late reply, Anon! I wanted to give you a more or less nuanced reply, so it took me some time to think about this topic.
I’ll start with the easy one: no, AI art isn’t going to replace all artists and it’s not going to completely eradicate art as we know it, because art doesn’t exist solely for the practical purposes. As long as people enjoy and feel passionate about making art, art is going to exist in one form or another. But that’s just stating the obvious.
And while there are people who are better or worse at coming up with prompts for the AI, as long as they don’t do any additional work based on the AI-generated image, I don’t consider it being art. I think art is about skill, taste and personality, and this simply isn’t it.
Are people going to lose jobs because of AI art? Unfortunately, it already happens, but it also doesn’t mean that artists are doomed and this is some kind of apocalypse. It’s very important to consider the scale of things, the possible developments, etc. Here are some points to consider…
First of all, if we’re talking about personal commissions and clients that opt to use AI instead of commissioning an artist for their project (or personal use), I wouldn’t say that it’s too much of a loss. I feel like this is exactly the type of clients who don’t tend to appreciate artists’ work and pay them fairly anyway, otherwise they wouldn’t even consider AI as an option. Many of these “clients” would never commission an artist anyway, so they’re not even a part of this client pool. I know that money is money, and some artists would gladly take even a low-paying job from a customer that often doesn’t treat them well (I’ve been there and speak from my personal experience back when I started to offer my commission services), but I am an idealist and think that we shouldn’t spend our time and energy on someone who doesn’t see any value in our work anyway. Not everyone has the luxury of throwing away people who pay you at least something, of course, these artists still need to eat, so that last statement remains an idealistic take from me, keep that in mind.
And if we’re talking about corporations that use AI instead of hiring artists, while it is a problem, I also feel like it’s going to backfire somehow – it kinda does already. Not necessarily in terms of the company getting backlash, but in terms of the lack of quality control over the AI art (if you don’t have any actual artists on board, how are you going to know if the art works or not?) and some other unexpected reasons that are definitely going to pop up.
AI is definitely going to transform the way we think about art and art-related jobs in general. Some jobs might get lost forever, but it happens all the time – there are other brand-new types of art-jobs that are going to start emerging out of thin air. Just like photography and Photoshop influenced the market and art in general, AI is going to do just that.
I’ll note that I don’t think companies are going to stop using AI altogether at any point of the near future though; it’s a very powerful and cost-effective tool, there is no way they are letting it go. AI is absolutely here to stay, and it’s going to evolve and become better and better, scarily better. But this is how I think we should approach it:
People whose work is used for the AI’s learning pool should abso-fucking-lutely give their consent to their work being used, or even better, be compensated for their participation. If there is a new AI that makes a point out of the participation in the learning process being voluntary and well-paid, I think it’d change the dynamic between artists and AI – so far it’s just stealing from them.
Ideally, AI should be used as a base and not the final product. Actual artists could get inspired by it during the brainstorming stage or work over it.
Whoever posts, produces or distributes content that was created with the help of an AI, should absolutely mark it accordingly. In my perfect world, there’re going to be laws about this lol In general, the whole thing needs to be reflected in law, so far it’s way too easy to abuse.
Not only marked, AI generated images should be banned from being sold lol You can press that button and type all the key words all you want, but the result is just a free image that anyone can use and cannot be monetized. I believe this final point would make the majority of AI users just abandon their desire to use it in general – if there’s no profit for them, they’ll drop out, and AI art can be used as a tool like it’s supposed to be.
As you can see, I have avoided saying that people who use AI art are “artists” because I don’t consider them artists. If they don’t transform anything and don’t bring anything new to the table, I, the most important person on this planet, will refuse to give them that title lol
As far as I know, actors and writers have achieved some guarantees against the use of AI during their strike..? I haven’t looked into it, so I don’t know. Also please, keep in mind that I’m mostly talking about illustrations, because this is what I do. AI affects other types of art too, and there might be nuance there that I’m not mentioning here.
In general, I don’t want to demonize AI, because I feel like it’s not a problem on itself, it’s the way people use it that’s brings problems for all of us. This is a very new technology, and we don’t know how to handle it just yet mostly because for the lack of the law system regulating it, this is why there are so many opportunities to abuse it.
Also also, when the novelty of the AI art wears off, we might end up with the resurgence of appreciation for “real human art” or something. We are waaaaay too prone to nostalgia not to go “god I miss it when actual people designed logos” one day, and believe me, whenever it happens, the companies are going to market their stuff as the REAL HUMAN ART by the REAL HUMAN PEOPLE so much that we’re going to get sick of it in 5 minutes lol. But hey, maybe it’ll end up being a reason to pay artists more.
Thank you for reading such a long reply! I don’t want for my blog to turn into a discussion board, so sorry in advance if you address this topic in future asks to give me links or examples and I won’t reply to you, but it depends on the number of asks. I’ll look through everything on my own.
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I get so fucking tired of this same conversation. So, let's break this down one last time because some of yall still do not get it.
Service workers know their employers should be paying them more. There isn't a service worker out there who is thinking, "no it's totally fine that my employer can pay me less than $3 an hour."
This is a systematic issue, it's not easily fixed by "go on strike or unionize!"
I don't know how detached you all from the reality of the working world, but if people could afford to just unionize or strike and have it work well enough, we wouldn't deal with nearly as much worker mistreatment and exploitation.
Let's start with unions.
Does your work already have a union or would you have to form one yourself? Do you know how to find and join your union? Can you afford any union dues you may have to pay? Let's hope you're not one of more than 60% of Americans who are living paycheck to paycheck.
And let's say you are in a union, are you comfortable with your job now being threatened? While it's certainly true employers can't legally fire you for being in a union, they can fire you for tons of other reasons and people in unions often experience this problem.
So, you've potentially hard to start a union, paid money you may not really have, and now fear job insecurity. Now, let's hope your union successfully works to raise your wage to an acceptable level.
Assuming it doesn't, let's assume you have a strike.
Strikes aren't like they seem on social media. These aren't just cute little walk-outs. You will lose your pay from your employer during this time. If you're in a union, you'll usually receive strike pay. Although, this is not usually a full paycheck. Again, let's hope you aren't one of these more than 60% of Americans who live paycheck to paycheck. Let's hope you and your family can afford to live off the strike pay.
Let's also hope you get enough people on board with your strike to actually make a difference. Let's also hope that the wage increase you may or may not get is significant enough to make it worth it.
A recent record high showed that wages were increased 25% which sounds great! I hope you enjoy making $3.75 instead of a generous (although you're likely getting paid closer to $2/hr) $3. Anything helps and that extra 75 cents does help, of course, but let's hope you find it worth it. And of course, most workers don't see an 25% increase. Assuming your strike was successful, you're likely going to see about 13% instead.
So after scraping by even more than you already were for about a week or so (assuming your strike actually works and doesn't drag into weeks or months), you're looking at a solid $3.39 per hour. Sure, that's less than half of the lowest federal minimum wage and it's far below the lowest cost of living (per hour) for a single individual which is about $13.80, but hey it's something right.
(None of this is to say you shouldn't be in a union and that strikes don't work, that'd be ridiculous. It's just to point out that this isn't a feasible option for a lot of people and acting like striking/unionizing is an easy option that magically fixing everything is beyond ridiculous.)
Now, let's move onto the actual point of "tips should be a nice bonus" and "we are not the problem."
Ideally, yes. Tips should be a nice bonus and customers shouldn't have to pay workers wages. In an ideal world, everybody would be getting paid a livable wage.
But this isn't an ideal world. You can't really treat tips as "a nice bonus" when they're not a nice bonus. And you can't really claim you aren't the problem when you're actively contributing to the problem.
You know these workers are being exploited and you're choosing to use their service anyway. This makes you a shitty person.
If you genuinely want to make a stand against that company's policies, you boycott the company. You don't continue exploiting workers by still going out.
If you can't afford to tip or don't want to tip then you can't afford to eat out at a service restaurant where workers are paid below minimum wage.
I'm very tired of people thinking "well they should pay you more!" absolves them of being a shitty person. Companies also shouldn't use child labor, but guess what? They do and if you're knowingly using a non-necessity company that uses child labor? You're a shitty person.
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I'm a highly sensitive person. I have some college but no degree. I have insurance but am scared of doctors. I have free therapy though my job but no specialists to see if I have ADHD or autism. I work customer service and have been doing that for over 20 years. When I serve people all day long I don't have much left for myself. I have pmdd and had a bad episode this month that gave me so much rage and now I'm ashamed and crying and feeling overwhelmed. They are going to change the operating systems that are job so none of us will know what we are doing.
I work customer service at a library and there's a machine with a conveyor belt that runs all day that helps to check in people's books. By the end of the day most of the full-time people are extremely disgruntled just due to the ongoing sound. We aren't allowed to wear headphones because we have to answer the phones and talk to the customers.
My boss put two more jobs for me to do while I'm not on a public desk. We get 2 hours off desk and honestly those are helpful to recharge after working with the public but my boss thinks those two off desk hours should be used to do desk work and busy work.
I'm extremely overwhelmed and afraid to advocate for myself for fear I'll look defiant. Ill be there 12 years in April. I feel like I haven't been able to have a personal life since going full time. 🙁
I took two days off from work last week and didn't work the weekend I was hoping I'd be ready to go back today. So I got dressed and drove to work and thought I hit a bird and then had a complete meltdown and then look like s*** and realized I had to be on front desk to let all the customers in. So they saw my face which made me more upset and so I told my boss I couldn't do it today and I went home. I tried to go to the park but I couldn't get out of the car and I looked a mess because I had been crying a lot.
I texted my boss and apologized and told her I was overwhelmed and told her I was sorry for leaving in a hurry. She told me to just take care of myself.
I don't want to take care of myself, I'm already worn out from taking care of everybody else.
I'm sorry this is the most rambling message ever. I don't know what to do.
hey @luckycatsgirl (couldn't tag you for some reason)
i'm sorry you're going through this but please do not apologize for ranting. i want this to be a safe space for people to ramble. you helped me feel needed so thank you for that.
what you've described sounds to me like a panic attack. now, i could be wrong since i'm not a professional but i have experience with panic attacks and would very much encourage you to look into a psychologist or a trained therapist to help you out.
we all know life is tough but we bear it to the point where any and everything becomes overwhelming. it's normal and you're not alone in feeling this way. but getting help will make sure that you live more comfortably.
i know you don't want to take care of yourself because you're worn out but being worn out itself means that you need to be cared for. a therapist or psychologist can help you understand how to do that.
please look into it, dear friend. i will be cheering for you from the other side of the screen. sending you courage and positive vibes 💜✨
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